Ang Huling El Bimbo

Kamukha mo si Paraluman. Nung tayo ay bata pa.

We met again. Sooner than I expected. Drawn like a moth to a flame, you easily persuaded me to go rappelling with you. You gently attached my ropes, offered me your own gloves, and together, we descended the steep river bank. I wasn’t a bit afraid because you’re beside me all throughout, supporting and encouraging me as we did the controlled descent.

We agreed to grab beers afterwards to cool down from the tiring day. We also decided to have a spontaneous time together with no definite plans and just follow where our restless feet and souls take us that night. I can still remember that sheepish grin of yours when you handed me a bar of Toblerone. I said “Wow, an early Valentine’s gift.” You just kept on smiling, your brown eyes glinting from the dark.

At ang galing galing mong sumayaw. Mapa boogie man o cha cha.

We started the night with me discussing my current inspiration and obsession – Elon Musk. The big news was that he successfully launched the most powerful rocket, the Falcon Heavy, and sent a bright-red Tesla Roadster to Mars orbit. You seemed unimpressed. I kept on reiterating that Musk is Tony Starks in real life. But I did not tell you that you resembled the actor – Robert Downey Jr. who played Tony Starks in the movies.

The conversation shifted from the “here and now” concrete facts to abstract concepts. We agreed that we are bonded together by our parallel personalities. Both of us are free spirits and you declared with much conviction that I’m the female version of you. 

Ngunit ang paborito, ay ang pagsayaw mo ng El Bimbo. Nakakaindak, nakakaaliw, nakakatindig balahibo.

And then you asked my thoughts about love. I quickly answered “I won’t settle”. If my previous relationships have taught me something, it won’t be settling for anything comfortable and secure. I remember telling you that I will wait for that kind of love that will burn me to raging blazes, the type of love that will make me crash and burn. That passionate kind of love that will bring me to my highest of highs and lowest of lows. That dangerous love you need to experience once in your lifetime to say you have lived fully. 

Magkahawak ang ating kamay, at walang kamalay malay. Na tinuruan mo ang puso  ko na umibig ng tunay.

Out of the blue, Ang Huling El Bimbo blasted through the air. It could be the beer or the melodic tune because we both stood and started to dance with the music. With our limited ball room moves, a mix of swing and waltz, we danced and giggled, our foolish hearts carelessly dangling from our sleeves. 

At the same time as Ely Buendia reached the crescendo of the song, his unique voice blending so well with the catchy lyrics, you suddenly pulled me close towards you and locked me in a loose embrace. You looked so deep into my eyes, your brown eyes burning into mine, and you told me how much you liked me. I said nothing. I just stared back into your eyes. My heart beating wildly inside my rib cage. 

When we were about to part ways, that’s when I found my voice. I told you how much I enjoyed our time together. Every second spent with you is about living in the present moment. Who I am with, what’s the weather that night, the songs we listened to, what I felt in that exact moment, that’s what only mattered.

I said goodbye and requested you that tonight should be our last time together. I don’t want to ruin our magical moments by knowing each other more. You see, in my head you are my ideal man. We might get disappointed as soon as we start to discover each other’s flaws. You wanted to see me still, but I insisted that if ever we meet again, we should leave it to chance, to destiny. Such big words.

Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw...

Looking back now, all I said was bullshit. Why? Because I miss you. Big time.